How to Help a Foster Child During National Adoption Month

November is National Adoption Month - Girl Making Heart Shape with Her Hands

Support foster children and Teens in november

The percentage of foster Teems adopted is up

November is designated as National Adoption Month in the United States. The 2024 National Adoption Month theme is, "Honoring Youth: Strengthening Pathways for

Lasting Bonds." Long-standing research shows that having even a single influential lasting relationship with a caring adult can make every difference for children in foster care.

For foster care outcomes, awareness is always a key goal of this annual month of recognition. However, the Children's Bureau aims to be sure the attention is directed toward the teen segment of foster youth that has the lowest rate of adoption and the highest risk of aging out of care without a family. While the average age of a foster child at the time of adoption is 7.5 years old, the rate of adoption for foster teens of 13-17 years is up from single digits to 12%. 

These and other key foster and adoption data has been released by the Adoption and Foster Care Reporting and Analysis System (AFCARS 2022). Nearly 400,000 youth in foster care exist in this country, and almost 110,000 need adoptive families. 23% are teenagers from 13-17 years of age.

According to the Virginia Department of Social Services, nearly 54% of foster children were adopted out of care; 57% to their foster parents. 1,700 children are currently waiting to be adopted in Virginia and over 30% are teens 13-17.

Aging Out of Foster Care Without a Safety Net. You may be familiar with the term, "permanency." Finding a stable, lasting home and loving family is a goal for every foster child. Teenagers as a cohort, spent the longest amount of time of any other children and youth age group in the foster care system.

For many teens, these critical high school years in foster care mean moving to different homes or care facilities, often changing schools, and experiencing major disruptions to their social structure of friends, sports, an other extracurricular activities. The challenges far too often carry over into their young adult lives, as well.

In 2021,19,000 foster kids aged out of care without the support of a stable and loving family; neither adoptive families nor reunification with their birth families. While this is down from its peak of 30,000 a year, the sense of urgency is high for far too many at-risk foster youth without permanent homes. Across the country, many of these former foster teens lose access to foster care ser­vices and sup­port resources.

Transition Care is Not a Substitute for Forever Families. At 18 years and until they turn 21, when Virginia foster kids leave care, they can receive basic support through Fostering Futures, a resource net for transitioning foster youth.

On their 21st birthday, this support ends. The voluntary program may cover continued housing with foster parents or help with room and board at school. Additional options are supervised independent living, job training, and independent living assistance based on participant needs.

While many teens aspire to go to college, less than half have obtained their high school diploma by age 19. Many age out of care without having finished high school. Not only will a large number of them lose their temporary home, but also whatever family support and guidance they may have had while supported by the foster care system.

With nowhere to turn, the risk is high for aged-out youth, now young adults, to experience mental, behavioral, and even physical health problems. Their risk is also high for a host of adversities that will impact health and fulfillment over their lifetimes: higher rates of unemployment and homelessness, unplanned pregnancies and young parenthood, substance abuse, and incarceration. 

High Risk of Poor Outcomes Without a Family. For kids who age out of care, surviving becomes an urgent priority. The young people must find a job and earn enough money for a place to live and food to sustain them. The hardship many of these young adults experience is brought into sharp focus by a quick scan of aging out statistics and outcomes:

  • Less than 1 in 4 foster kids enroll in college (contrast this to 62% of American kids who enroll after completing high school)
  • 20% of former foster kids will experience homelessness (versus .19% in the U.S. population)
  • 71% of foster girls are pregnant by age 21 (contrast this to 34% in the general population)
  • 43% of foster kids are diagnosed with PTSD (2x higher than PTSD in U.S. Veterans)
  • 20% foster kids who age out will be arrested (contributing factors include higher rates of addiction, homelessness, and PTSD)

Perhaps the most heartening of statistics to follow this data: 95% of foster-to-adopt parents would make the same adoption decision again.

The Importance of Stability for Children and Teens. The Children's Bureau states in their alert, "Securing lifelong connections for these teens, both legally and emotionally, is a critical component in determining their future achievement, health, and well-being." Research also shows that outcomes are better for foster kids who stay in foster homes rather than group homes or other congregate care settings. Departments of Social Services also keep sibling family members together whenever possible.

Take yourself back to your own teen years. Whether the first thing that comes to mind is the carefree simplicity of your youth or the stress of adolescence (or both) consider who around you was there to take care of the basics, like food, clothing, and shelter. If you finished high school and went on to college or career training, what adult helped you understand your options and apply for school or a job, celebrate your successes, and transition into young adulthood?

Can you imagine at the age of 18 trying to figure out next life steps without resources, guidance, and support? In Virginia, foster teens have it tough, though have some advantages over many states who don't have transition support for teens who age out of foster care without an adoptive family.

Misconceptions About Fostering and Adopting Teens. An obvious reason many foster-to-adopt families don't consider teenagers in their adoption journey is because they have a limited time at home before becoming young adults. While we cannot slow down time, we can give more attention to the myths and misconceptions about foster teens that steer many adoptive families to younger kids.

A long-standing stigma is that teenagers' actions or behaviors landed them in foster care. Like all foster kids, they are living inside the foster care system because their biological parent or primary caregiver is either unable or unfit to care for them. Circumstances are unique for every kid, ranging from death and poverty to child abuse and neglect. Children of all ages may be traumatized by their experiences before they enter the child welfare system.

Maltreatment, instability, and loss of a parent to death or incarceration, take a toll on a children and families. Survival instincts kick in and sometimes foster kids act out or withdraw, no matter their age.

Teens are no exception. The misconception that teens will not or cannot change is simply incorrect. We humans continue to learn and grow, even throughout adulthood.

Increasing Impacts of the Opioid Epidemic. With the growing opioid epidemic, in particular, kids are coming into foster care at a younger age, including those under five years. Many children will enter and exit care multiple times over years, as even the most well-intentioned parent continues to struggle with addiction, maintain a job, and provide for their children. While every foster child's family and circumstance is unique, every foster youth shares the trauma associated with separation from the familiarity of home, parents, and routines; perhaps from siblings, as well.

Many adults who grew up in the toughest circumstances and learned difficult methods of self-preservation are successful adults with fulfilling lives and families today. When asked how they overcame the odds and obstacles of their foster youth, a common pattern emerges from their responses. Many had just one or two adults who became an influence; a bright light of support that helped give them faith and light the way. Often these responsible and caring adults came into their lives during a foster kid's tumultuous teen years. 

"Teens in foster care are strong, resilient and smart and, given a chance, they can overcome their past and influence the world for the better." 

-Aria Williams 

Odds are Low but Hope is High for Foster Teens. Foster teens know, that the longer they are in care, the odds of finding an adoptive family drop. Despite the distress caused by earlier experiences, teen resilience cannot be understated! Foster kids who find safety, patience, and care from an adult can learn positive coping strategies and the opportunity to express themselves and heal.

Foster teens living in stable environments where they can focus and achieve, can and do flourish...both in foster homes and with adoptive parents and families. Unlike younger foster children, teenagers typically operate independently in their daily lives, and may require little direct supervision. 

Fears Around Foster-to-Adoption. Adoptive parents often worry that biological parents will come along and take their children back.

This can be a particularly tangible fear for adoptive parents after you've bonded with your child. That loving bond strengthens more quickly than many parents imagined. Not to worry...

The U.S. federal government mandates a time limit for biological parents, relatives, and fictive kin to work toward meeting legal requirements for reunification with a foster child. In cases where biological parents and family have abandoned a child or do not want to work toward reuniting with their child, the process can move more quickly. However, if the family fails to meet the needs within 18 months, the courts move toward terminating parental rights (TPR).

Once this reunification window has closed, birth parents have a short window in which to contest the court's ruling before a foster child becomes eligible for adoption. Once the TPR is in place, the birth family loses custody and parental responsibility for their child. After you have completed the adoption process for your foster child, you become your child's legal parent, with all the rights and responsibilities that come with it.

How You Can Adopt a Child or Teen From Foster Care. Are you considering adopting a child from foster care? No matter the child's age you hope to foster-to-adopt, the child you will love could be waiting today. Babies, children, and teens of every age and profile are in Virginia's population of 5,000 kids in foster care, and 1,700 await adoption. 

Adults who want to adopt a foster child must go through the same process as an adult who wants to provide temporary foster care. There is no cost to foster or adopt in Virginia. It takes an average of four months to complete the background checks, training, and approval process to become a licensed foster parent and be able to welcome a child into your home. Adoptive parents must foster the child they wish to adopt for six months before proceeding to adoption finalization.

Adopting through foster care has additional benefits over adopting a child through a private or international agency. Beyond the major factor of affordability, foster-to-adopt parents tend to have a shorter waiting period. For those open to adopting teens or sibling groups, you are likely to have the shortest possible waiting period since the need is greatest.

Foster-to-adopt parents can also take advantage of financial and therapeutic support resources. A partnering foster care and adoption agency, like Extra Special Parents (ESP) in Virginia, can guide you through resources and how to access individualized support for your child. Resources also encompass care for medical needs and post-adoption services. The latest AFCARS reporting shows that 94% of adoptive families received an adoption subsidy.

Take Steps to Adopt a Foster Child Today. If you have questions about helping or parenting foster youth, we are here to answer them. If you would like to get the foster-to-adoption process started, the first step is to enroll in a free orientation and training session. Check the calendar and learn more about the focus of all five sessions here.

Most parents will tell you, the parenting path is not always smooth, but it brings incalculable rewards. Being number one caregiver and cheerleader for a foster child and teen brings a sense of purpose and fulfillment like no other. For those who choose adoption, your heart and home will be full with the loving promise of your forever family.

For more information about National Adoption Month, visit the Child Welfare Information Gateway.

 


"I'm in love with a child I haven't yet met.